August 19, 1812: The USS Constitution defeated the British frigate HMS Guerriere off Nova Scotia during the War of 1812, earning the nickname “Old Ironsides.”
The question is how did the ship get from Nova Scotia to Boston Harbor, which it has called home at least since I was a kid.
I can’t answer that, but I can attest to its presence in Boston when I was in grammar school. Remember Field Trips? This was one of ours. Not that I remember the tour, but surely the bus ride from Revere.
Too bad I didn’t appreciate history at the time, surrounded as I was by “where it all began” as our teachers tried to drill into us.
For some reason, the drills involving the multiplication tables were more interesting to me. And now it’s too late — I could never climb onto the deck for the tour, any more than I could climb to the top of the Bunker Hill Monument, also the object of a Field Trip.
While everyone was glued to something called the Olympics, I
decided to travel back to this month in 1950, August 11, in fact, when Boston
Braves pitcher Vern Bickford pitched a no-hitter against the Brooklyn Dodgers,
giving the Braves a win of 7-0.
Those were the days, my friend. Pure Sport, no soap opera
behind-the-scenes tales or Vern Bickford throw mats and fragrances.
At least I thought so. A short time later, I learned about the Pure Business part, when the Braves ditched Boston for a more financially rewarding Milwaukee.
My short-lived love of Pure Baseball is enshrined in an authentic, signed photo of Warren Spahn on my bookcase. Spahn stands next to a Boston Braves hat (not authentic) and a pile of engineering reports. Places of honor.
What’s in a name? Could mine have predisposed me to a life-long miniatures hobby and a string of mystery novels about a miniaturist? It makes as much sense as anything.
As a kid,
I played with the one “toy” I had, which was a dollhouse my father built
for me. Along with my favorite cousin, I turned everything into minis. We cut
up old greeting cards and “framed” a bird or a flower or a bicycle to
decorate the walls of my mini house. We sliced pieces of straw from a broom and
made spaghetti. We covered sponges with scraps of fabric and made beds and easy
chairs.
We had a whole life in miniature.
I’ve kept that hobby through my adult years. At one time or other, nearly everyone I know has received a miniature “something.” A small sewing scene for my quilt-making friend, a tiny cluttered dorm room for one stepdaughter, a miniature stable for another. In my home I have a post office, a 6-level museum, and a funeral parlor, all in miniature.
In about a
month, I’ll be teaching one of my favorite classes: Science, Technology, and
Social Change. As you might guess from the title, the class encompasses the
history and philosophy of science through the ages, as well as the ways new
technology presents new questions and answers.
Topics are
as ancient as the teachings of the pre-Socratics and as modern as the latest in
observations of black holes.
I like to
start by asking my students to place themselves on the technology spectrum between
Luddite and Early Adopter.
It’s
amusing enough to read anti-technology sentiments from students who are earning
their degrees completely online.
But no one
beats a woman I saw at a conference hotel a few years ago, as we both waited in
line for an elevator. This person wore a large, obviously homemade button on
her lapel: LAST LIVING LUDDITE.
I smiled.
“That can’t be you,” I said.
“Yes
it is,” she said, head held high. “I don’t have a cell phone. I don’t
email or text. I’m not on Facebook—”
I had to
interrupt. “So, you’re not in line for the elevator?”
She looked
confused. “Of course I am.”
But this
was a very smart lady. I could tell by her frown that she knew where I was
headed.
The
elevator came. The lady turned and walked away. I wondered if she used the
stairs or simply took the next car.
I wish
she’d stayed. I love hearing about people’s attitudes toward technology, where
their thresholds are.
Magneto Compass generating unit recovered from aircraft used by pilot Wiley Post on his final flight in August 1935. Public Domain image, Smithsonian Museum
On July 22, 1933 (before even I was born) Aviator Wiley Post completed the first solo flight around the world. The flight took 7 days and 19 hours.
In August 1935 Wiley Post and humorist Will Rogers were flying together in a hybrid airplane when they crashed 15 miles outside of Point Barrow, Alaska.
With renewed interest in travel to outer space, I’m inclined to revisit para.
Para is all around us these days, especially with the release of the US Navy UFO videos. (Excuse me, UAP, the new name: Unidentified Arial Phenomena.)
We have paramedics, paralegals, paraprofessionals, parapsychology, and, of course, PARANORMAL. I’ve been trying to figure out what paranormal means vis a vis “normal.”
There are many possibilities.
One option is to consider it similar to what para
means in paralegal. I had a brief career as a paralegal at a large law firm in
San Francisco. We thought of ourselves as “almost” legals, just a few
years of study away from being lawyers. Maybe
paranormal is “almost normal.”
But if you know the legal profession, you know para in
this case means “subsidiary role of a lesser status.” With few
exceptions, the lawyers in the firm reminded us of that hour by billable hour.
I didn’t last long as a paralegal. Something about the way the law allows one to
argue from two contradictory premises. That’s not my dog, but if it were my
dog it didn’t bite you. But that’s another blog.
Another meaning of para is “guarding against,”
as in a parasol, which guards against the sun, and a parachute, which
guards against free fall.
Paranormal might mean “guarding
against the normal.”
My most intense brush with paranormal came while I was teaching
a course in the scientific method at a university in the SF Bay Area. The
school was known at the time for its groundbreaking classes in nontraditional
fields. A student could get a degree in Transpersonal Psychology, for example or
Mysticism.
Really.
I taught a class with a full enrollment of mysticism
majors. You have to pity them with me as an instructor.
The dean admitted outright that he’d hired me to be the
Visiting Rationalist. I was to be tough on the students, force them to be
scientific, to present their fields of study as “scientific, with
real hypotheses and experiments.”
I had a tough choice to make: teach them classical physics rife
with deterministic principles that allow no wiggle room, or confess that modern
(i.e., quantum) physics seems every bit as strange as paranormal
phenomena..
Some examples.
Entanglement
is the phenomenon by which two particles are inexorably linked no matter how
much distance separates them. The state of one particle can be teleported to
another particle far away.
String theory proposes that everything in the
universe—matter, space, time—is made up of ten- (or greater) dimensional,
invisible, vibrating strings.
And here’s a winner: the uncertainty principle.
Essential to the foundation of quantum physics, the uncertainty principle tells
us it’s impossible to make a measurement of a physical system without
disturbing that system.
Hold on. Isn’t that one of the things we’ve criticized about
“soft” sciences like psychology (let alone the “para”
version)? That you can’t observe and make “exact” measurements of
behavior because the presence of the measurer affects the result?
There’s more—so many phenomena like time travel and speeds
faster than that of light are possible in the world of the very, very small. As
long as you sneak the behavior in under the radar, which is on the order of 10
to the -27 (pretty small), you can do just about anything you want.
The mysticism majors? They would have preferred that I
congratulate them on having observation, hypothesis, experiment. Just like Newton.
A few weeks ago the Department of Defense formally released three Navy videos that contain “unidentified aerial phenomena.”
Don’t get too excited, the Pentagon warned, and astrophysicists seemed to agree. There’s no breakthrough; skeptics can hold on to their arguments that the UAPs can be explained by atmospheric effects, reflections, and even bugs in the imaging code.
It’s not too soon to gather the ingredients for No-bake, no fuss “hamburgers.”
TIME TO PREPARE: about 15 minutes
YIELD: 12 mini hamburgers
INGREDIENTS:
I box vanilla wafers
1 box soft chocolate cookies (SnackWells or the equivalent)
1 tube green frosting
1 tube red frosting
1 tube yellow frosting
1/8 cup sesame seeds (optional)
DIRECTIONS:
1. Arrange 12 vanilla wafers, flat side up, on a tray or
platter. These are the bottoms of the “hamburger buns.”
2. Using the green frosting tube, squirt a ring around the
edge of each wafer. Using your finger or a toothpick, rough up the frosting so
it resembles ragged lettuce.
3. Place 1 chocolate cookie (the meat!) on top of each
green-ringed wafer.
4. Using the red frosting tube (ketchup!), squirt a ring around the flat edges of a dozen additional wafers (the tops of the “hamburger buns”).
5. Using the yellow frosting tube (mustard!), squirt a yellow
ring over the red ring of Step 4, allowing the two colors to mix in places.
6. Place each newly ringed wafer, flat side down (top of the
bun!), on top of a chocolate cookie/wafer.
DONE! You now have 12
hamburgers, with lettuce, ketchup, and mustard.
7. (optional) Dot the top of each bun with egg white, and use as adhesive for a few sesame seeds.
Be creative: add a smooth ring of white frosting for an onion, a square of orange frosting for cheese, or smooth the red ring so it looks more like tomato.
Any other ideas?
Send them to me in the comments and I’ll add to next year’s recipe!
Today my guest is RITA LAKIN, screenwriter with credits for 474 produced television scripts spanning 30 productions. She also writes a series of comedy mystery novels featuring Gladdy Gold and her zany geriatric partners in crime-solving. She’s the author of The Only Woman In The Room, a memoir of her life as one of the first female show runners and one of the first women in television.
Here’s Rita!
HERE TODAY, GOODBYE TOMORROW
I’d rather it was Hair Today, or even Heir Tomorrow. But the truth is I’m old. 91 is old.
I cannot pretend I’m still middle-aged. That word was bearable. That only cost some wrinkles, men no longer undressing me with their eyes, or even a cutesy pinch now and then. All my life, I never even thought about getting old. Who does? Why would they when they’re still bouncing around with life choices?
I’m sure people
plan ahead; smart people who put away money so that they wouldn’t end up in a
cardboard box in some park when it all ran out. I had a good
business manager. So I sit in comfort. Though unable to do anything but watch
TV. I have a caregiver. Oh, how I hate that word.
But here’s the
reality—when at the yearly checkup at the doctors, hearing those death/knell
bells ringing, Your body is fading away and you are on the way out. How
can I deny my legs that do not walk, fingers shaking, with the whole left side
useless? I do a self-check. I had to give up driving. Bye-bye independence.
Look in the mirror. Deny that grey-haired harridan is you. I want to cover all
mirrors; but I don’t.
I can’t even sign
my name. I now type one letter at a time on the computer. The list goes on and
on of what I can’t do anymore.
SHUT UP!
How dare I complain! I was pretty. I had the gift of intelligence, which led me
to enjoy the arts. I’ve had a wonderful life filled with a loving family.
A multitude of friends. And true love.
Much
delightful travel. Many unexpected adventures. An enviable career, showered
with great reviews and rewards.
So I tell myself
to count those blessings (and forgive the errors) every single day.
And stop looking in the mirror.
More about Rita’s amazing contributions to television, movies, books.
Rita won first place for her IMBA bestselling Getting Old is a Disaster. The same novel won Left Coast Crime’s LEFTY AWARD for most humorous mystery published in 2009. Her many other awards include those from Writers Guild of America, MWA’s Edgar™️, and the Avery Hopwood Award from the University of Michigan.
I've been a factory worker, a translator, a teacher, an experimental physicist, a nuclear safeguards engineer, a writer, a waitress, a miniaturist, a paralegal, a nun, a minister, a short order cook, a ticket taker, an editor, a crafter, and a cotton candy twirler.
I am still some of these, plus a wife.
No wonder I still have a spectrum of stories to write.