Posts Tagged ‘rest’

Get some rest

Nothing brings on more advice than a health/injury incident. Not that I’m ungrateful, but sometimes it takes all my patience not to run through my life’s experiences, especially with medical/health advice. A recent trip-and-fall accident brought out some of my favorites.

Still image print, NYPL, Gautier-Dagoty, Arnauld-Eloi, 1741-1771

1. Get some rest. As if I’m deliberately staying awake, tossing and turning, hurting, whatever. As if could just slap my forehead and say, “Gosh, I never thought of that!” (Here I would close my eyes and z-z-z-z-z-z.)

2. It’s nature’s way of telling you to slow down. Oh, and what if it’s nature’s way of telling me to speed up? That I’m not doing enough, otherwise I wouldn’t have time to have this accident?

3. See a physical therapist. This one brings out a long list of painful experiences, of which these are among my favorites:

– the most honest PT: this guy looked at my x ray, asked if it hurt to sit. When I said no, it hurts to not sit, he said that was wrong, and therefore he couldn’t help me.

the funniest PT: this was a woman who told me to get up on a table taller than I am. When I said I couldn’t get up there, she said she couldn’t help me. The next day I got an email saying she’d welcome me back when I was better. Hello?

-- the monster PT: this guy levered me up on a high table and forgot about me until I was screaming loud enough to attract the person next door.

the second monster PT: this woman hooked me up to electrodes and went to lunch.

I could go on, but I’ll close with this:

What with the lack of guarantees offered by medical science, who knows from cause and effect? When my nephew’s knee went out they told him it was because he didn’t exercise enough. When my friend’s knee went out they told her it was because she exercised too much.

See what I mean?