2015 June : Camille Minichino

Archive for June, 2015

Para what?

Filed Under : words by Camille

Jun.25,2015

It’s the age of para.

Paramedics, paralegals, paraprofessionals, parapsychology, and everyone’s current favorite paranormal.

Formerly used to indicate side by side, its newer meaning is closer to an ancillary status, or almost, as in paralegal.

Another meaning of para is “guarding against,” as in a parasol, which guards against the sun, and a parachute, which guards against free fall.

My latest run-in with para is with the word paraprosdokian.

Def.: A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reinterpret the first part. It’s frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. For this reason, it’s extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

Some examples:

• War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. What’s a work station?

• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

And my favorite:

• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Do you have any paras to add?

The Manhattan Project

Filed Under : Technology by Camille

Jun.18,2015

On Monday, June 8, Camille gave a presentation on THE MANHATTAN PROJECT: The Physics, the People, and the Politics, at Roosmoor in Walnut Creek, CA.

A well-known, oft repeated quote from Santayana: Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

And a somewhat less known quote from Kurt Vonnegut:

I’ve got news for Mr. Santayana: we’re doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That’s what it is to be alive.

I’m in the Vonnegut camp. As far as I can see, we haven’t learned much from probably millions of years of human history, about 6000 of them “civilized”. One obvious example: we remember that war is hard on a country and its citizens, but that doesn’t stop us from engaging in wars, often overlapping, with bigger and better weapons.

For many reasons, I’ve never found history particularly interesting. But recently I’ve become fascinated by one specific period in US history – the years of the Manhattan Project.

So many issues came into play on an isolated mesa in Los Alamos, New Mexico:

• the way the military personnel and the scientific community had to work together though their usual modus operandi were so different;

• the strategy of setting up two groups of scientists with a challenge: team A tries fission; team B tries fusion. Both succeed.

• the very human emotions of fear, jealousy, suspicion that resulted in one of the most famous feuds in modern times: Oppenheimer v. Teller;

• the tremendous feat of turning bits of scientific theory and blackboards full of equations into something tangible, that worked in the real world.

It has taken many volumes to collect the data and report on the aftermath, and I have a feeling it’s not over yet.

Free Tickets for All!

Filed Under : Personal by Camille

Jun.11,2015

Souvenir from my fan days, c. 1952

A few weeks ago on the LadyKillers blog we were asked to take on the topic: “IF I RULED THE WORLD.”

I thought they’d never ask. Now I’m pretending that you Real Me readers have also asked.

I could take a tip from all the partial Miss America interviews I’ve heard before I could reach the mute button, and call for world peace and more money for homeless shelters. Or I could indulge myself in the fantasy of complete science literacy for every child and adult.

But those are unrealistic goals. So I’m choosing a goal well within reach:

FREE SPORTS TICKETS FOR ALL GAMES, FOR EVERYONE, EVERY DAY!

See, how easy is that? Of course, this means that no one would be paid for playing (hello!). People could still play, to their hearts’ content, but they be paid only at their day jobs, like the rest of us. Fans could watch, balls could be signed, and popcorn eaten. Selfies with the cute guys in uniforms would still be encouraged. Possibly even little tip jars could be available at the gates, to defray costs of equipment, in case the players‘ day jobs were, say, minimum wage, like those of some artists and writers.

Here’s a sampling of the way it is now for sports players:

• an NFL cornerback (what is that even?) recently agreed to a five-year, $70 million contract;

• a hockey player signed for $14 million;

• a starting pitcher for one team makes (can’t bring myself to say earns) $4,275,000 for 1 year of playing;

• another pitcher in the south signed a contract for $210,000,000 over seven years. $30,000,000 a year!

An author friend recently blogged about this last contract, breaking it down by inning. The player pitched an average of 210 innings a season, so he makes roughly $140,000 for every inning he “works”.

The average teacher’s salary in the same state is about one third that: $50,000 for the whole year.

Is this the fault of the ancient Greeks, who honored their athletes often at the same level as their gods? I wonder how much the Greeks paid their teachers back in 100 AD?

A Mystery

Maybe someone in those jam-packed gyms can explain this to me. A basketball player who’s taking home roughly $15M (not the highest paid) steps up to the free throw line. Remember, all he’s had to do for his adult life is practice, and play basketball. Presumably, every court has the same dimensions, every ball the same size and weight. We’re indoors; there’s no wind, such as a sniper might have to take into account, for example, or even a golfer (a mere $600,000-midpoint of tour earnings). So this $15M-basketball player has to get the ball into a basket with nothing moving around him. And sometimes he misses! The top ten free-throw percentage leaders are from .72 to .83. Severn or eight out of ten free throws make it? Not good enough for 7- and 8-figure salaries.

I understand fandom; it can be addictive. I was once a fangirl, the kind who worshiped players, hung posters of Warren Spahn in my bedroom. But then, I was only twelve.

So, be ready, fans. As soon as I’m appointed to rule the world, all spectator sports will be FREE to all! No more Red Hat Days or Senior Wednesdays! Every day will be a Fan Day. The boys will still be playing, and we’ll be watching and cheering as we should—a game, not a paid profession.

The sleuths behind the scenes

Filed Under : Books,crime by Camille

Jun.4,2015

In April, my 21^st cozy mystery, MANHATTAN IN MINIATURE, was released. In November, my 22^ndDEATH TAKES PRIORITY, will be released. I think I’ve earned my creds to speak about amateur sleuths! (Parts of this blog have been repurposed from previous rants—uh—posts.)

I know a gazillion amateur sleuths. Every day, on bookshelves everywhere, crimes are solved by florists, cooks, ghosts, beauticians, photographers, quilters, nurses, tour guides, and pet owners. They are solved on cruise ships, in cafes, in haunted and unhaunted houses, at concerts, in churches, and on the golf course.

Did I mention that amateur sleuths also include retired physicists, miniaturists, college math professors, and (with DTP) a postmistress?

I feel I know them all well, inside and out. They’re smart, brave, righteous, and sometimes too stupid to live (TSTL).

I’m constantly defending them:

• Of course she has motivation to investigate a murder, even though her day job is running a community garden and she has no training in criminology—after all, the victim was a bridesmaid at her roommate’s cousin’s best friend’s third wedding.

• She’s curious, so Yes! she drive out to the cemetery in the middle of the night to meet someone who says he has an important clue to the killer’s identity.

• So what if she withholds information from the real police? She has a good reason to—she wants to look into it on her own. She is, after all, an independent thinker/investigator. Never mind that she has neither training nor a badge.

• Yes! It is possible that the cupcake-maker sleuth found the clue that experienced homicide detectives and a crew of trained CSI techs missed. After all she has be very observant to bake cupcakes.

Members of my critique groups who do not write amateur sleuths are the biggest skeptics. Who’s going to believe blah blah blah? they ask me all the time.

I think the answer is: readers. They believe it enough to enjoy the story. There’s a reason there are so many cozies and a reason they are very popular. Readers enjoy reading about normal people like themselves—knitters, grandmothers, bakers, journalists, innkeepers, and beekeepers. They like to think anyone can be smart enough to follow a few clues, put the puzzle together and make the world safe again.

Don’t you?